“The Mental Load”

Emotional Labor or “the mental load” is unpaid and often unrecognized labor that needs to happen in all families.  Someone has got to think of,  plan for, and then execute on all the little things.  The list is forever long and includes things like; noticing it is time for haircuts, planning a kid’s birthday party, deciding on this weeks dinner menu and getting a mother-in-law a birthday card.  Who does this mental and emotional labor?  Usually just one partner and more times than not, it is the woman in the relationship playing that role.  This disparity just might be the final battlefront in modern marriages where more and more partnerships are becoming equal in all other regards.

So what’s a modern, egalitarian couple to do?

The following recordings are meant to be therapeutic guides to help a couple navigate this tricky and often sore subject.  Listen to each together and do the homework included in each.  When you feel like you are ready, move onto the next step.   A handful of resources are also provided to stimulate conversation and offer some helpful information.

Please don’t hesitate to ask questions or reach out to me at wendi@therapythursdays.com.

Good luck!

5 Audio mini-podcast recordings:

Background 1:

Background 2:


Communication 101:

Systematic Experimentation:


The article that started it all:   Women Aren’t Nags—We’re Just Fed Up

An article to balance it out a bit:   The Man Trap

Communication Basics:  18 Communication Tips for Couples

Attachment Theory:  How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationship